Sunday, August 16, 2009

bitch for a day

It's dark, dank, and gloomy out... perfect day to blog.

So I woke up this morning to my parents being really pissed that I had slept in until 10:30... apparently it's unnatural to stay up until midnight or later. My dad wants me to go to bed before 11pm every night from now on. Not happening... have we heard of a little something called college? Whatever. I had a rough night and my eyeballs almost fell out, I woke up at 6 in the morning and felt like crap, and I still do, so I have an excuse to sleep in.

Side topic: I've realized that I don't really have much of a filter when I get really emotional. I do say the things I'm thinking, which means I am being honest, but not rationally so. Which is really unfortunate, because I probably don't actually mean any of these things and end up regretting even mentioning them. This happens on a daily basis. One thing about me is that I save my emails and Facebook messages and AIM logs and such, and occasionally reread them for funsies. Sometimes not-so-funsies. Christine, if you happen to still read this (and I don't blame you if you don't because it's getting a little annoying even for me), I'm really sorry for potentially making you feel awful. Because I said some really shitty things that I didn't mean because I happened to be excessively hormonal at the time. I guess it's kind of silly to mention it now because we can probably just laugh about how young and naive we were back then. But I'm glad we get along swimmingly now :-)

I remember when I first got this blog, courtesy of an idea from Patt, we had the following conversation:
P: me and imaly decided youre probs going to be way more intellectual than us
A: pfff hwhy?
P: bc youre cooler and smarter than us
A: ok well that may be true, but... BAHA jplay

Our names spell "PAPA." Excellent. But anyway, these fellas are way awesomer than me, and I personally think that Imaly's blog is way more intellectual than mine. Soooo the reasoning was off, but my blog did end up being excessively teen-angsty despite my personal resolve to make it funsy and whatnot. I did a lot of stuff in the beginning with my musical tastes and Bostie pictures, but now that the newfangledness of it all has worn off, I've reverted back to my natural talent: being angsty. Which sucks, because I don't want to seem like one of those emotion-ridden teens who can't talk about anything besides stupid, angsty FEELINGS. Courtesy of stupid, angsty hormones. Ugh, I wish I was a boy sometimes. I wish I were a boy sometimes? I know not. The point is, (and Michelle and I agreed on this) we need to stop caring too much about people and just be a little more self-indulgent. There. I said it.

So on a more pleasant note (pun fully intended), I've taken to playing the piano recently. Chopin's Nocturnes and Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique have been occupying my musical endeavors for the most part. I miss piano a lot, but I don't miss the pressure that went along with it... so I'm glad I quit when I did and now I can fully enjoy playing without having to worry about practicing a certain amount every day. It took up so much of my life with nothing to show for it, besides actually enjoying it now. Which I feel could have been accomplished by just tinkering around with it and listening to lots of classical... so much for WMTA.

Anyway, I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, which is gonna suck. My mom thinks I'll be able to eat the next day. Cross your fingers, mommy. At least I like yummy drinks. Also I'll have a lot of time to sit in bed and read without being bothered by anyone. I'm fully equipped with George Orwell's 1984, some good Thomas Hardy, and The Bell Jar. Score.

1 comment:

  1. haha so i save my emails and facebook messages as well..and reread them whenever I'm bored..weird? probs why we are twins